While the race course was reconstructed into a collegiate regatta, nothing from the Olympics has been demolished including the inital watch tower that held the officials that year. The Women's Eight+ is one of the biggest races in the rowing world and on Lake Lanier; the Florida State University had not traveled to the John Hunter Regatta in three years- atleast until 2012. Having received an invitation to race, the Women's Varsity Eight+ was prepared yet pressured, excited yet afraid. The Romanian's were foreigners the the Olympic final that year, just as FSU Crew were foreigners to the John Hunter Regatta. We were in a different state just as they were in a different country, both needing to race on a course they had never seen before; we were in the same shoes as the Romanian's. We had just arrived at the race course and immediately launched for a practice row with only the thoughts of winning running through the minds of the Women's Varsity Eight+.
The next day had dawned upon us and the Women's Eight+ race was the second race of the day right behind the Men's Eight+. Our row to the starting line was quiet. It was easy to tell everyone was nervous but we had no choice but to row our hardest for a near eight minutes. We take our last breaths, the official polls the start as we sit at attention and within seconds yells "ROW!" FIRST off the start, our boat found our rhythm ripping at our oars, tunnel-vision quickly beginning to set in with the only motivation coming from our screaming coxswain and the drive within ourselves screaming, "I WANT IT!" Neck and neck with three other schools, rowing is a game of inches. Fighting each other for the number one spot, with every stroke came a different school as the leader. If we wanted it we had to show it- Florida State was a crew to be afraid of. Slowly, we inched forward with the University of Florida left in our wake. Emory was not letting up following right behind our lead. Pulling away from UF and the College of New Jersey- it came down to FSU and Emory schools battling for glory. We approached the last 500 meters, we began the sprint early. We NEEDED this win- this was OUR race. Emory slowly closing in on the 2000 meter mark, the ladies of the Women's Varsity Eight+ unleashed an incredible power that FSU had no choice but to match. The last 25 strokes- who had it? Even the officials had a hard time determining who was first. And then, it happened- our team, standing right at the 300 meter mark, was screaming at the top of their lungs, "F-L-O-R-I-D-A-S-T-A-T-E, FLORIDA STATE, FLORIDA STATE, FLORIDA STATE!"This pushed our boat so far past our threshold that we pulled ahead of Emory right in the last 5 strokes; beating them by four tenths of second. My immediate response was to scream but I had nothing left in me- we had just conquered all odds to win this race in 2012 just like the Romanian's had in 1996.
http://foreignertypes.blogspot.com/
The picture is definitely the first thing the reader focuses on. It gives a sense of place and theme (water, rowing) immediately, but does not give the exciting sense of breakneck pace found in the third paragraph. It could be placed between the second and third paragraph where it would invoke a feeling of nervous waiting, the calm before the storm, instead of a sense of peace and leisure.
ReplyDeleteThe title rhymes, which could be unintentional, but it goes well with the racing theme and pace. The small type and large chunky paragraphs propel the reader from sentence to sentence, also indicative of the racing theme.
The post as a whole is very true to the theme of the blog. It is, as its predecessor, about rowing, racing, the water, and hard work. Readers get a sense of the author/narrator’s inexhaustible dedication to the sport.
It was at first very hard to find the connection between this blog post and the blog it is referencing. The connection, it seems to me, is the juxtaposition of “them” versus “us” and the idea of being foreigners in an unknown land. The second paragraph is dedicated to establishing this connection and seems disconnected from the third. The connection seemed a stretch and was not very solid. It could have been strengthened by developing the divide between the foreigners and the “locals” and using more emotive language in the second paragraph. Also, a more sensual or emotive description of the Romanian-as-foreigners’ race could be included as a comparison.
The third paragraph is by far the strongest. The reader can feel the intensity of the race through the selective use of whole-word capitalization, especially the short sentences “ROW!” and “I WANT IT!”. Experimenting with left and right hand justification of opposite lines could create a visual of the rowing oars.